wynsdayschild

2010-12-11T15:25:00.001-06:00

You mixed the lies with just enough truth for me to believe you. You dangled promises in front of me just to lead me on. You cut me deep and I thanked you. Then u kissed my lips and were gone.

2010-10-16T16:35:00.001-05:00

Wow! Have I been slackin'!!! Haha!

Since I last posted my life has been a bit of a roller coaster. Some of its been awesome, some of it's been not-so-awesome. I had a falling out with a dear old friend, made some new friends and cemented those relationships a bit better, my relationship, as it were, with the guy subject of two posts ago has ebbed, but we talk and remain friends. I've met someone new, someone I'm excited about! I've moved into my own place, and am working odd temp job still. I've been an extra for a TV show, worked as an usher for the UT games, and most recently have taken a seasonal job at an cool SoCo costume shop. My son has a part in a play here in Austin. He's also been able to go back to the charter school he attended last year, a relief for me. He seems to enjoy it better, too.
That's just a brief overview of the last five months or so. I'll try to be more faithful and diligent in blogging. I started this out as an experiment to see how well I'd do. I started off strong, and will attempt to find that resilience again!

More soon!

2010-05-31T11:26:00.001-05:00

A poem in a Mother Goose book we had when I was a child:

Mondays child is fair of face,
Tuesdays child is full of grace,
Wynsdayschild is full of woe,
Thursdays child has far to go,
Fridays child is loving and giving,
Saturdays child works hard for his living,
And the child that is born on the Sabbath day
Is bonny and blithe, and good and gay

I Just Don't Know Anymore...

2010-05-30T23:27:00.001-05:00

My mind is racing, I'm frustrated, pissed off, hurt... You name it, I'm feeling it. I met "that guy" and, everyone's been there, your trying to get to know one another, feel each other out, and figure out if you're compatible. Compound that with the fact that I'm hanging out with a new group of people, trying to get to know them, do a little networking, and make new friends. A lot of drama has arisen over the last few days and I don't know why. Girls on one side talking dirt and even flat out lying. He's on the other side saying its all drama and not to listen to it. Needless to say, there is no relationship between him and me. Honestly, there wasn't going to be, he'd told me that already. I was cool with that. Not the first time I've been shot down. But he still seemed friendly enough that we could remain just that, friends. Then in walked trouble. Now it seems that, because I was the new person and the one at the center of the drama, we probably won't even be that.
What upsets me the most is that I look like a jerk. I look like someone who chooses to surround herself with drama. I'm not. But he doesn't know me. He just knows what he's seen. I can't blame him.
I've met others that I'd like to continue to get to know. But they know him. Will it get around that I'm a trouble starter? Do I bow out graciously or do I stand strong and show that I'm resilient?
I choose the later, but its gonna be tough. I know that much. I wish I could just sit down and explain everything, but my attempts at doing so thus far have only seemed to make things worse. I guess I'll just leave things be. Tread lightly. Hope for the best.

Yep, That's How I Roll...

2010-05-29T03:16:00.001-05:00

I met him. He seemed fun, kinda cute. He sings and plays guitar. He thought I was cute I could tell. I flirted. He bit. We exchanged numbers. We texted. He invited me out. We had fun. We had sex. He called again. Maybe first date sex wasn't so bad after all. I went to see him again. We hit the after party and the tequila a bit to hard I guess. I'm not a good influence. He didn't seem so interested after that night.
More drama ensued. We talked. It was cool. Not interested in a relationship, but still we were cool. Then I stick my size 8 in my mouth, thinking I've made a cute joke, but instead I've offended him. The word "disappointed" also fell from the tips of his fingers onto that keypad he texted me from. I'm good at that. Ruining things. I must make sure that they are completely destroyed before I walk away. No phoenix rising, I scatter the ashes so no hope is left.
This is my downfall, this is my disgrace. I give in too easily, love too readily, and crush so viciously.

Sick

2010-05-24T15:36:00.002-05:00

I hate being sick... the coughing, sneezing, sniffling, going from hot to cold, looking around the house and knowing the dishes need to be done, I still need to unpack, and my kid will eventually want to eat, which means I should cook *something*. And I have a tendency to get down emotionally as well, and I want to eat every salty, carb loaded thing in the house! I take things others say the wrong way, and snap at my kiddo for the littlest things. I feel like some wounded wild animal that knows its about to die...gawd, how morbid and depressing can I get???
I just want to feel better! It seems that when the crud and mucus that's currently seeping from every hole in my face starts to clear, the fog lifts from my brain and my spirit. I wanna feel good again. I like being the smiling, positive, somewhat goofy, friendly face, not this ugly, twisted devil twin of myself.

random thoughts after a date

2010-05-15T23:31:00.001-05:00

One thing you'll get to know about me, if you hang out long enough, is that I don't always express myself best verbally. Its easier for me to write and sort out my thoughts before I express them.
You asked me what I was looking to happen between the two of us, a hook up, a boyfriend, a husband. I'm not sure how eloquent I was in answering you, so I give you my answer here now...
What I'm looking for: A friend. Someone to go out with. Someone I can enjoy good, intelligent conversation with. A lover who will make mad, passionate love to me and not hold back.
I don't care (at least not to the extent of it being my personal business) about where you stand financially. I can take care of my own, and I want you to be able to do the same, not for my sake, but yours.
Most importantly, as of this moment at least, I want to simply enjoy being with you... Have fun, laugh, and enjoy one another's company, and encourage one another to follow their passions. Keep it light...ya know?
What I don't want: someone around 24/7. Now don't take this the wrong way... I want to be with you. But I've become very accustom to doing things my way. Integrating you into my life (and me into yours) will be a process, but one that is worth it should we both put forth the effort. However, I have a child at home for whom I'm the sole provider, and I also have my own goals I'm striving for. You have your own ambitions, and I'm sure you wouldn't want me to be a hindrance to them either.
If it sounds like too much to ask for then I apologize. Maybe I'm asking the wrong person... If not, then let's give it a try.... I think you're kinda sexy and fun. Maybe we can experience life together for a little while...

Excitement!!!

2010-04-18T14:49:00.000-05:00

I am so eager to start this new job!

So far I have interviewed with a lady named Andrea, and that interview went really well. The lady I had originally talked to on the phone, the who would be my direct supervisor, Jennifer, called me and said she got positive feedback from Andrea regarding the interview. Good sign. She set up a phone interview with the CEO of Property Services, Bob, and I talked to him the next day (I believe that was Thursday), and I had a good feeling about that. Jennifer called on Friday and said she heard I'd talked to Bob, and that he had given it a 'go'. So they've started the background check. Employment history, checking for criminal, the whole nine yards. No worries there. On the 27th I'll be meeting with Bob and a lady named Dawn, the Human Resources Director. I've got that nervous excitement so built up I feel like I'm going to explode!

So a little about the job. Its with a company called NWP Services Corp. The company is based in Southern California, and is about fifteen years old. They had an office in Dallas, and moved it to Austin about a year/year and a half ago to be more centrally located in Texas. It is a "Financial transaction processing" company for the multifamily industry. In plain terms, they process billing of gas, water and trash for apartment communities to the residents. I will be working in Property Services, so I will be the one the property managers call with questions and issues. There is a real chance for advancement within the company it seems, unlike the 60% turnover rate in the apartment industry. The pay scale is also a bit better, which I can't complain about!

So I'm figuring I'll start around May 1. I've already started looking for a place to live nearby. Downtown living is a bit pricey, so I've mostly been looking just outside of downtown, maybe around the SoCo (South Congress) district. But I've by no means given up the idea of finding that perfectly priced loft downtown! Keep your fingers crossed!

Waiting

2010-04-07T12:33:00.003-05:00

I'm still waiting...oh gods/universe/powers that be, grant me patience!!!

I am waiting for my unemployment that I should have received a week ago. I called yesterday, and they said they applied it to the debit card they provide. I told them I haven't received the debit card, and the lady asked me, " Do you have a debit card from a previous claim?" I had a previous claim...years ago. I don't have that card anymore! Still, that's where my money was applies, so I had to call and cancel the card and PAY for a new one! Frustrating...

Also I'm waiting on the job opportunity, but I'm so not stressing over that. The lady who's going to interview me is on vacation this week, but I've spoken to her on the phone, and I have the idea that the job is mine! I'm so excited! We will be meeting next week for the official interview.

So patience. Patience. That's all I'm asking for is a little patience! ...now Guns N Roses is playing in my head...

Hope You had A Happy Easter! I Sure Did!!!

2010-04-05T12:51:00.000-05:00

I woke up this morning feeling fabulous again. I had a tough week last week (T.O.M. = severe cramping, no money and stressing over the holiday), but it ended pretty well. My parents called Thursday and asked if we'd like some company. They came up Thursday night, picked up the kiddo and I, and we all went to a nice little hotel suite down the road from where I live (for those not in the know, I'm currently living with friends since I'm out of work, so not enough room at my place). My grandmother even came with! It was such a great surprise ending to the week and lifted my spirits tremendously. We stayed up till 3a.m. visiting, got up and had a nice breakfast and took my boy swimming at the hotel's pool. More visiting. I even kept up with my exercise routine (although I splurged a little when we went out to eat; still, not as bad as I could have been, and I'm happy I'm learning to control the urges!)
Friday night we dropped my dad and grandma off at the hotel after a nice dinner, and my step mom, my kiddo and I went out to Lake Somerville where my step brothers, stepsister and other family were camping. Aiden got to play with his cousin, they opened their Easter Baskets from my dad and step mom, and in general, had a blast! I got to sit back, visit, watch the boys fish, and enjoy the night sky and a warm campfire with my extended family, something I don't get to do so often. We drove back to the hotel that night, again not going to sleep til after 3a.m. It was so much fun!
After a late check out the next day, my parents dropped us off at the house, and we chilled out for the evening. I got up Easter morning a made a low-fat quiche for me and my roommates, and spent the day lounging. It was such a peaceful way to end the weekend!

Strange Dreams

2010-03-23T11:02:00.002-05:00

I had a really strange dream this morning, and I was awake at 5:30AM and couldn't go to sleep after it. Not that it was disturbing or anything. Just a little odd and very surreal...
I was in my late teens going home (Texas City) from Houston with my mom. It was night, and as we get close to home we realize that cars are stopped on the freeway, and there's a police office directing traffic. We get out of our car (because we are at a stand still) to see whats going on, and there's a baby bunny, solid black sleeping in the middle of the road. I make the suggestion that we move it off to the side off the road, after all that's probably where it came from and it can find its family from there. Some people didn't want to move it, some acted as if the thought never crossed their minds. I scooped it up and move it to the grassy area near some bushes and realized there was another one there. It was also about this time that I realized how cat-like these bunnies were, but still...bunnies! I was bending over to love on them and as I stood up, I was in my bedroom (nothing about this room was familiar, but, as dreams go, I "knew" it was my room) and there were several of these cat like bunnies at my feet. I was amazed at how adorable, but at the same time wondering what I was going to do with them all. Then I woke up...

2010-03-15T20:50:00.000-05:00

My apologies for skipping a week here. I've been settling in at the new place, with new roommates, and simply put, trying to figure out my plan of action.

I felt like I got quite a bit accomplished today, however, after only four hours of sleep, I'm beat! I was up at 6:45
AM to take my friend to work, so that I could use their car. Stopped for a quick bite before heading back to the house to get some much needed information before heading out for the day, addresses to places I was going, directions and the like. Ran practically all my errands, to include spending time in two government offices (and we all know how that can go!). I also had lunch with a dear friend...

sorry, I must stop here...my brain will no longer function properly...I'm rambling on about errands, like that's what you want to hear! ...need sleep...

2010-03-01T12:05:00.000-06:00

I HAVE TWO FOLLOWERS!!!! :) (Sorry, that had to be done, lol)

Wow, a lot can change in a week.

Last week I started off with a positive attitude, getting to work early. I knew I was gonna have to work my day and a half off, but I knew that I'd get it later on. No need to worry. Monday and Tuesday went on without a hitch. Wednesday was the best! I was feeling great, I had gotten several leases over the last few days, and things were looking up. I went to have lunch at Subway, and made a couple of other stops on my way home. Got back to work, and my manager called me into her office. Ok, I'm cool with that, but then the door started to close. It never closes unless its bad news. Maybe I'm getting written up. I know numbers have been low, very low, but look at the weekend I just had! It was beautiful weather, people were starting to get out and about after a very-cold-for-Austin winter, and I had leased four of the five people that came in to see the apartments this weekend!

Instead, they let me go. Said my closing ratio was too low over the last 90 days. The last 90 days to include Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's and January, when people are attempting to recover financially from the over-indulgence of said holidays. In the apartments industry its known as a very slow time of year. Common sense, and your own feelings about moving will tell you you might not want to move during this time. And the people that I didn't lease to, I couldn't lease to because of our qualifying criteria. Broken leases. Income below our required 3.5 times market rate. My notes were made on every welcome sheet filled out for every person that walks through my door.

And because I lived on-site, that also meant I lost my apartment. We had to move out of our home for the last year and a half in four days. I had to withdraw my son from the charter school he's been excelling in as well. Our life is definitely going through a change.

This all looks pretty dreary on the outside I know. I almost got overwhelmed. But my new outlook on life showed me that these are changes for the better. I was in a job with no immediate chance to grow, stuck on the south side of Austin away from friends, without the ability to be mobile. I have two prospective jobs with chances for advancement, I'm temporarily staying with friends until I get my own place. One of the prospective jobs means I could move on-site and still be close to friends. I will be enrolling Aiden in school ASAP, and am interested at what positive surprises will come from that.

All in all, I could have climbed into a hole and sang the "Poor Pitiful Me" song. But I'm not. I have great friends and family here for support, a fantastic kid, and tons of opportunity! I'm going to get through this and come out on top. I'm excited!

2010-02-21T21:24:00.000-06:00

So I've been on a healthy vegetarian diet for over a month now. In that time I've lost ten, yes that's right TEN pounds, I have way more energy, I've been exercising regularly, and in all feel great! My kiddo looks at me like I'm crazy when I try to feed him whatever it is I may be eating, so I've been giving him options other than what I've made for myself if its something he absolutely objects to; i.e. instead of the baked southwest eggrolls full of spinach, black beans, corn and bell pepper (yum!), I made him a cheese quesadilla and salad for dinner. After all his taste buds are that of a ten year old boy. I do try to get him to at least taste some of the things I've made though.

I love cooking new things! I concocted the southwest eggroll because it used to be a favorite of mine at a restaurant in my hometown. Of course theirs was deep fried, but I baked mine to cut down on the calories. I made my delicious Pad Thai sans meat, and it was yummy as ever, and an egg white omlet this morning that was delightful. The zucchini souffle with fresh Parmesan cheese was much simpler than I'd expected as well, and oh so good. I've done different versions of tacos, potato, bean and/or veggie protein crumbles (tacos are a staple around my house because they're easy to make after a long day of work!).

All this to say I think I'm gonna stick with the vegetarian thing. To be honest, I haven't really missed the meat. I'm making healthier choices too, and that makes a big difference. Sometimes its easy to stop and get a burger. So easy I didn't realize what I was doing. Being more conscious of what I'm eating has helped me understand food as a fuel for my body. Yes, there are pleasures in certain foods, and that is okay as long as one doesn't over-indulge. And the pleasure I'm getting from eating healthier, and the benefits thereof, way surpasses the pleasure derived from that bag of chips and box of donuts!

My Best Valentine's Day Ever!

2010-02-15T23:10:00.000-06:00

I've never had a date for Valentine's Day. Ever. Even the Valentine's Days when I was in a relationship I basically got, "Here's a card/flowers/chocolate, there I'm done." So I've been one of those girls that just said that this day for love didn't really mean anything, wasn't important, who cares, right?

That was until yesterday. I had the best Valentine's Day of my life! My little man decided he wanted to take me out for Valentine's Day. He woke me up (he wanted to cook me breakfast in bed, but wasn't sure of the idea of cooking!), we had breakfast, and he started getting ready. He put on his maroon, long sleeved button up that I bought for his Science Fair and a pair of black slacks. He got out the lint brush to get the cat fur that coats everything in my house off said outfit. He asked me to wear something red and black myself (I had already picked something out in my mind the night before when he showed me what he wanted to wear), and soon we were on our way. He had a gift card to McDonald's my aunt had sent him in a Valentine's Day card, so he treated me to a delicious meal which he ordered and paid for himself. I told him since he got lunch, I'd get the movie. We saw Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightening Thief. It was a pretty cute little movie and Aiden thoroughly enjoyed it. Afterward we did a little shopping, and soon headed home where we watched movies on the computer and just "hung out" the remainder of the evening. It was Awesome!

And to top things off, we both had today off as well. I've really enjoyed the time I've had to spend with my little guy these last few days. He's ten now, so I know I only have a few short years (if that!) until his attention focuses on the little girls in his class rather than mom. It was nice to be get dressed up, primp and to be treated like a lady by my little gentleman.Okay, so we gotta work on his holding doors open. He tends to get so excited he barrels right through them and they smack whoever is unfortunate enough to be behind him in the face! So he's not perfect, but, being mom, I hardly ever notice.

I hope everyone else had a Happy Valentine's Day!

2010-02-07T21:23:00.001-06:00

This week I've decided to try the power of positive thinking. We hear it all the time but many of us don't pay attention to it. I've noticed the times in my life when I make the effort, it has actually worked. So I figured why not apply it to my whole life.

Now I don't want to sound like some new age guru. I'm just tired of the worrying. Instead of worrying about my job, my bills, my (non-existent) love life, my goals I've yet to achieve, why not put a positive spin on things? I heard a woman say that every time she received a bill in the mail she pretended to herself that it was a check (ok, so my boss sat us down and had us listen to part of The Secret to boost our numbers). It made sense to me. Worry begets worry. So positive energy/thoughts/vibes should breed positive, right?

I'm not naive enough to believe that that means I'll never have to deal with tough situations. But I am sure that changing my thinking pattern will definately improve the outcome. As I said, its worked before. Writing down goals has helped me achieve them. Knowing in my heart that I'd find that new job, get a new car, make my move to Austin successful worked! So I will apply it to the other aspects of my life!

I'm also encouraging my kiddo to do it also. I think it will be a great influence on him as well. And better yet he can learn while he's young, so that he can live a flourishing life.

2010-02-01T22:00:00.000-06:00

Life's been kinda slow lately. Not that that's a bad thing. It just makes for a slow news day.

I woke up this morning, got the kiddo off to school, went into work, even though its my day off, to get some things in order for tomorrow. That's the thing. It was nice to be in the office this morning, before anyone else got there, before the day's distractions lead my attention astray. To just get things I needed done done, and when everybody else started showing up, I got to leave! I came home and started organizing and cleaning. Visited with a friend for a little while, then went back to the housework. Once Aiden got home I had the house in some reasonable order, so I helped with homework and cooked dinner.

In all it was a pretty peaceful day. I got to focus on things I let go during the week while I'm working (my "weekends" are a little off; I get Sunday and Monday off every other week and random days of during the week for the weekend I work).

Like I said, a little slow, but I'm enjoying it!

2010-01-26T20:02:00.000-06:00

I must apologize for my last blog...that being said, lets move on!

I have been veggie for over a week now! Cooking all kinds of fun things, watching my caloric intake, exercising when I can. It feels great! (ok, except with that one little meltdown, but hey, things happen, right?)

I've been going out doing some outreach marketing for work. That's when we go to business, and give out information about our apartments, find out which business will let us leave flyers and such for their customers, and offer, in exchange to take any of their marketing materials and put them in move-in packets for our new residents. Since my car is in need of repair, I've been taking the bus, and doing a lot of walking. Its very refreshing to get out of the office for a few hours, get in my walk for the day, and do my favorite part of my job, meeting and talking with people.

All in all, it was a good day. I'll sign off now. My kiddo is finishing up the evening's dishes, and we must commence with the evening ritual...bath, brush teeth and bedtime. One of the cats has taken up residency on the microwave, why, I don't know.

2010-01-24T20:22:00.003-06:00

I've been kinda grumpy the last few days, and feeling very frustrated. My house is a mess, work has been stressful, and I've had extra stuff to do with the kiddo (Science Fair, his school's opening ceremony). When I actually do have "me time" all I wanna do is sleep. I don't feel bad physically. I'm a little stressed over money issues, and starting a new diet. I need to exercise as well, I know, but I just don't seem to have the time or the energy to do so. I haven't made any entries to my blog (except for this whiny thing), and I feel like I'm not doing enough of ANYTHING!

I think I'm feeling a bit lonely too. I can't just "pop in" to see my closest friends. They're too far away. The friends that I have near to me have things going on, and I have my kiddo, so getting out in the evening is a little difficult. I work, come home, clean house, help with homework, watch a little TV or do a few little things on the cmoputer, and go to bed. Wake up, repeat.

Feeling a little better, having written this. I look at what all I am doing. Guess I just needed to let it out! Thanks for listening. :)

Where's the Beef?

2010-01-17T19:08:00.000-06:00

Ahhh, so I've decided to go veggie.Yup, vegitarian. I tried it before, about ten years ago I guess, and I lasted less than six months. But in that time, I learned alot about cooking different types of food, and it really opened up a whole new world. I tried Indian food for the first time and discovered I love it! But, alas, my grandma made her famous fried chicked, and that was my downfall. If you ever tasted it you would understand...

Once again I'm making an effort. No, its not politically minded. The truth is I'm not a real big beef eater anyway, and, although I enjoy it, I rarely eat pork. I mostly eat chicken or turkey of the ground variety. On occasion I eat fish, and might continue with that for a while. I figure a small piece of salmon in my sushi isn't gonna hurt on occasion.

No, I'm doing it to eat a little heathier, and to learn to cook more of a variety of things. I've learned to cook a couple of Thai dishes, and making them vegetarian will only take minor adjustments. I also like Indian food, and am looking forward to making curries and the like. I have a kick-butt vegetable samosa recipe that I only occasionally make and am looking forward to making that again. Then there's the vegetarian chili that I fed to a meat eater (my ex-husband, while we were together) that was so yummy he didn't even realize the meat was missing! Things I simply don't think about cooking usually, but know I'll enjoy.

So, if you have them, send me your favorite vegetarian recipes. I've stocked my fridge full of potatoes, carrots, leeks, greens, different types of onions, shallots garlic and the like. I've got Greek yogurt (its a little thicker, for sauces), different cheeses, and a variety of beans, and hummus, yum! I like my dairy too much to give that up, as well as eggs, but I have replaced greasy breakfast sausage with delicious Morningstar breakfast patties which have way less fat.

Wish me luck...and forgive me the one last double cheese burger I had for dinner... :)

2010-01-11T23:00:00.000-06:00

I think I've got a pretty interesting day job. No, its not my dream job, but it pays the bills and keeps me on my toes. I am a leasing specialist for an apartment community. Yes, I'm that girl, the overly cheery one that greets you ready to lease an apartment to you, and the one you get tired of talking to should anything go wrong once you've leased said apartment. We, the management staff, have a bit of a bad rep, I know, but the honest to goodness truth is that we are your ambassadors to the corporate collective that owns the building.
I've been doing this type of work for about five years, and as I said I find it pretty interesting. The job is part sales, part mediator, part accounting, part babysitting. I have to be knowledgeable of the law (at the very least real estate law, but in some instances other forms of law as well), versed in basic home maintenance, and highly perseptive and resposive to each individual's needs. I'm constantly hounded about numbers, occupancy percentages, income and the like from the higher ups, and always know that my job is on the line.

I've worked at small "A+" properties (properties are usually graded, much like your high school exams) to large, average (think high "C" to high"B") communities. I've worked on older properties undergoing full renovations, beautiful new properties and one that just needed to be bulldozed.

I've had residents from all over the world, and many who were born and raised down the street from the neighborhood the apartment community is in. There was the elderly Italian widow, who's name escapes me, but used to tell the most amazing stories. The Japanese couple who told me I would always be welcome in there home (even if I "was ever in Japan!") simply because I remembered to take off my shoes when I entered their apartment. Mrs. Hammer, an elderly woman who would call the police if she heard her air conditioner kick on too late at night. I could go on...there are so many that leave an impression. A mother who came into my office worried because she hadn't heard from their adult daughter who live at my property, and wanted me to investigate. Same scenario, but with a worried son who was supposed to meet with his aging father, and the father had missed the meeting.

I've been there through pregnancies, marraiges and divorces with my residents. I've seen them at their best, and at their worst. I mean, you may not go to work, but you gotta pay rent even if you're running a 102 degree temp! You get to know who keeps a messy house, and who keeps theirs pristine. You get to know their children, their pets, their pets they treat as children.

You learn that there are a lot of different forms of crazy, lazy and just plain stupid. There was one young guy, maybe in his early to mid twenties, who was needing out of his lease early. I explained to him that he was bound to his contract for the remainder of his lease, or else pay additional fees, and his response was, "Do you really think people read those things?!" ...um, its a legal and binding contract...How do you say that
delicately and without sounding patronizing?

I've seen a darker side too. The poor soul that lived in absolute filth too horrid to even describe here. We had to hire a company who normally cleans up crime scenes after that man left because they were the only ones equipped to clean up hazardous material, and they were shocked at what they saw. The apartment had to be completely gutted, fixtures, sheetrock and all.

At one property, dead, decayed bodies were found in a trunk of a long abandoned rental car. At yet another property, a young girl, 18 years old, got mad at her boyfriend and locked herself in a room and lit his clothes on fire. Everybody made it out of the building okay, but many families were displaced, their belongings and treasures water or smoke damaged, and she had ruined her life all over a silly boy. Needless to say, I've dealt with local news and camera crews as well.

I've put potatoes in the oven for one sweet lady and her husband who were expecting guests that evening, but she was stuck at the "beauty parlor," her terminology giving away her age. I've made phone calls for frightened little ones who's parents were running late picking them up from the bus stop.

I can tell you where the post office is, the nearest bank, how to contact the electric company, what information you'll need, and what they'll charge in deposit for a new account. Yes, you're responsible to change the light bulbs, air filters and smoke detector batteries in your apartment. No, I can't notify you ahead of time for an emergency water line break that requires us to shut off the water for repair. And I promise we don't shut off water or cause power outages to get our kicks. Power outages DO need to be reported to the electric company, as we do not control the grid, and no, I do not know how long before your electricity will be back on. And I try to say all these things with a smile, even if its the thousandth time I've said it.

So when I'm asked what I do for a living and I say, "I'm a Leasing Specialist for an apartment community," if they respond, "Oh, so you're in sales?" you'll know why I roll my eyes!

2010-01-05T22:36:00.000-06:00

I was contacted today by a guy I met nearly a year ago. We met in a karaoke bar. He was fun, personable, good looking. Ends up he's in, pretty much, the same line of business I'm in, so I'd say he has a good job. We talked a bit, exchanged business cards, and before I knew it he was gone. I sent him a text message the next day saying it was nice meeting him. We got to chatting and agreed we'd get together some time. After that we spoke a couple of times over the phone or via text. I referred a couple of clients to him, and he did the same for me. But we never actually got together outside of a work environment. I haven't spoken to him in probably six months now. I assumed he wasn't interested in a personal relationship. Maybe at best it would be working relationship, but at this point its not even that. Maybe he had a girlfriend. Maybe he just wasn't interested. What ever the situation, I didn't expect to hear from him again.

So, as I was saying, today I got a text message from him. A simple "Do u still work at...?" Since I rarely ever erase numbers from my phone I knew who it was right away (although out of courtesy, he sent a reminder in the text). I sent him back a friendly, "How r u? Yes I'm still here," thinking maybe he had a prospective client for me. He responded, "Cool... Give u a call later wanted to catch up."

Catch up. What did he mean? Catch up on a professional level? See if we can help one another out with our pool of clients? Or catch up, wink, nudge? As in, the barriers that were there once before have since been removed. Its been an interesting day in my head, to say the least. Over-analysing those two simple texts. Why now? What made him think of me after six months? What made him reach out? What did he mean 'catch up'?

I guess we'll see in the days ahead if it goes anywhere.

On a sadder note, my best friend's new beau told her today that he'd be focusing on his kid and work, and that he didn't think there'd be enough time for her. She was understandably crushed. Talking to her before their big conversation, to hear her pure glee, and then afterwards to hear her tears was heartbreaking. I told him I'd kick his ass if he hurt her...let me get my boots on...

Fear

2010-01-04T22:00:00.001-06:00

Once again I'm starting to completely psych myself out of a new project. Less than a week into this new-to-me blogging thing and I've convinced myself I can't do it. What will I write about? Will anybody read it? What if they do? What will they think of me?

Do I really want to put myself out there like that? The answer is no. I don't want to. Its scary. I'd prefer to be safe, so I've created all this doubt to "protect" myself. But what am I protecting myself from? I could easily sit here and watch tv, smoke too many cigarettes and be frustrated that I'm not where I want to be in life. Or I can take the steps to make it happen.

I have so many things I want to do this year. Goals I've set for myself. And I can complete them if I don't let that fear keep talking to me. That's it. Face the fear. It sounds so simple. I've heard it so many times before that it sounds stale to my ears. But I've often been amazed at what I can do when I actually set my mind to do something. Facing fears is simply put, changing my mind set.

I'm scared to bear it all. But I must do this in order to move forward.

My rockstar

2010-01-02T22:46:00.002-06:00

My kiddo comes home tomorrow! My little boy, the one true love of my life. He's been gone with his grandparents/other family on his Winter break. I know its good for both of us. He get's to spend time going and doing instead of being stuck at home while I'm working, and I get a little time to decompress from being mom 24/7. Being away from him makes me appreciate the time with him so much more. We get stuck in a rut. I take him to school, after school its homework, maybe a little TV time, or time to work on whatever project is going on that week, bath time, brush your teeth, go to bed. No, really its bedtime. I said its bedtime. Get a drink and go to bed, your bedtime was an hour ago! Bet you can't tell I've had that conversation a hundred times!

But (warning: gushy words only a mom would dare speak) I miss him so much when he's gone. He's become the reason I want to improve myself. Of course I want to do it for myself, but I'm lazy. As long a I can skate by, I'll do it. He makes me want to be better, do better, be more, do more. Of course as I've gotten older I could have found this on my own, but what's a more sweet, loving inspiration and motivator than a child. My child. My kiddo. My rockstar!

I'm off work tomorrow and Monday. I'll spend my time cleaning our home and getting ready for my dad to bring him home. I'll call maintenance about the leaking toilet I just discovered. But mostly I'll be ready to see that bright shining face walk through the front door. I'll comment on how he looks like he's grown just in the last two weeks since I saw him last. It will be glorious!

New Year, New Fixation

2010-01-01T20:25:00.001-06:00

I did it! Starting a blog is something I've been considering for some time. I feel like there will be many benefits for myself, and I hope that anyone reading this will enjoy my ramblings. I have no parameters for the blog as of yet, so I might be all over the place for a while. Eventually though I feel like it will begin to come together into a cohesive piece.

So, maybe I should introduce myself and tell you a little about who I am. My name is Sarah Chimene. I'm a thirtysomething mother of an awesome ten year old boy. I work full time as a Leasing Specialist for an apartment community, and for the most part I enjoy what I do. I've had the same best friend for over twenty years. I enjoy music of all kinds and love live shows the best. I don't prescribe to anybody's political or religious views but my own. I'm horrible with relationships. I have three cats. I'm geeky at times. I'm messy.

As it is the beginning of the new year, I have a few things I want to focus on. There are some areas in my life I'd like to improve in order to propel my life forward. Of course there are the common goals that many of us share: losing weight, getting finances under control, a better love life. But there are also the more personal ones. For starters, and one of the biggest reasons for starting this blog, my writing skills need to be taken out of the box and dusted off. I tend to go for long periods without writing, but when I stop I miss it so. Also there are those things that "I've thought about doing" but never set into action. Volunteering. Going back to school. I'm ready to take a more proactive path in my life, and you, my friend, will be witness to it!

If you've gotten this far I'm taking it you haven't fallen asleep yet or even better moved on to someone else's blog. If I've bored you, please understand that, like sex, it'll improve over time. This type of format is a little different for me. But it seems fun, and I'm excited!