In the wee hours of the morning this past Saturday I made a post on social media about a guy I had met that night. I was at a bar having drinks, he was friendly enough at first, and he kinda looked like my guy bff which I found a bit endearing. He suggested we leave the bar we were at and go to a show. I knew a band that was playing around the corner, but had planned on just catchingthe last bus home. He offered to split a Lyft home since we discovered he lived just a few blocks from me.
We went to the show. It was fun. The band ended. The bar was closing, so he called the Lyft. The driver said he'd meet us at 8th and Red River. We were at 7th and Red River, so I started walking north to 8th. He insisted it was west (shoulda been my first hint, but I was intoxicated). I told him it wasn't and crossed the street. He continued walking west, and hollered my name from across the street. I looked up at the homeless guys standing on the corner as I approached the other side of the street and said, "He thinks 8th and Red River is that way!" nodding my head westward. The big guy laugh and hollered back across the street, "Dude, she right!" Then he listened. I was incensed. We got in the Lyft and argued about it until we reached the 7-Eleven down the street from my place. I asked the driver to drop me there and said I could walk home.
The guy got out still expecting to go with me. I headed into the store. At this point I had already told him he could leave multiple times. He asked where I was going, and I said to get cigarettes and that he could just go. He "reminded" me that he'd bought me a pack. I knew, I just wanted him to leave. He came up to me and was friendly again, apologizing even. I told him we could hang out if he was respectful and would actually listen to me. He agreed. I was drunk and being too friendly, but also fearing that I had been too bitchy. We went to my place. Less than five minutes in the door and he suggested a movie and started putting his arms around me. Nope. Strike three and you're out. I told him to leave. Protests of "What did I do?" and implying I was being irrational dripped from him. I got angry and he left. A few minutes later he was back at the door saying he'd lost his keys in my apartment. I told him he'd been there for less than five minutes and didn't go further than the couch, so if they weren't there he'd likely lost them elsewhere. He tried to talk his way back in, but I insisted he go. I got pissed all over again as he still tried to argue with me. My bad ass, punk af Kiddo walked out of his bedroom, sat next to me, and said, "I think she told you to leave!" That's when the dude left.
I was not truly scared yet, just pissed that I, as a woman, was not being heard or respected. I must not have known which direction I was going because I'm a girl. Never mind that Red River has been my stomping grounds for the last decade, or that I have a really good sense of direction. He knew better because he was a dude, and it took another dude to convince him otherwise. Don't listen to me when I say I'm not interested because I'm a girl who's supposed to protest, but he knows what I really want. No, motherfucker. I like sex... a lot... so if I'm telling you no it's because I'm not interested. And when I tell you to leave it should not have to be backed up by a guy in order for you to listen. Maybe you could take a page from my 19 year old's book. When a woman says stop, he stops. Because he knows he should respect a woman's right to her body autonomy.
So that's what happened. Thanks for letting me get it off my chest.
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